My phone was acting up today and while I was sitting in the parking lot getting ready to start my drive home, I started listening to some of my saved voicemails. In my new car, I have that great feature of bluetooth so the system automatically connects and projects through the car speaker. As I am sitting there, suddenly a voice came over the system that made me stop and listen.
The voice was my grandma's voice. She passed away over three years ago. But I have had a voicemail saved on my phone. I can't bring myself to let go of that one little piece of her. Friday, March 24 would have been her 92nd birthday.
So as I was sitting in the parking lot, this message came to me through my car speakers...
Elizabeth, it's grandma. I just want to tell you how much I love you. Your mother said it was ok to call you. You don't need to worry about calling me back. I am thinking about you. You need to make sure and take care of yourself. And I love you.
I was very close with my Grandma Elaine. I spent a lot of time visiting her down in Florida, and we often spoke on the phone when I wasn't able to be with her. She left this message for me a few days after I had had a miscarriage. She knew how difficult that loss had been for me. I wanted desperately to have a child, but my husband and I struggled through infertility and loss for several years.
When my grandma passed away, I promised myself that I would hang onto that message. Some days I play it so I can hear her voice and it brings a smile to my face. Sometimes when I hear her voice, it brings tears to my eyes. I have played the message for my daughter, and have pointed to the picture in her room of my mother and my grandma, trying to explain to her who that special lady is in the picture.
Today, when her voice came through the car speaker, I simply stopped and took a minute to breathe and remember an amazing lady. She was a fiercely independent woman, the type of woman I strive to be. The type of woman I hope my daughter will become.
My grandma did not live to see me give birth to my miracle baby. I know I need to do something with that voicemail, I must hang onto her voice, maybe have it recorded and stored somewhere else. She may be gone, but her voice, her spirit lives on.
She absolutely lives on in my fiercely independent little miracle, Miss Emerson Elaine.
Thanks for the message grandma, I needed to hear it today.